13 YEARS of MIXED METAPHORS !

Geoff Bolton : word-player, records and celebrates the Great Australian Mixed Metaphor !

Listed below are examples of those collected from public life and discourse in Australia - from which GAMMA* selects notable examples each year - and from these a winner for the Tim Fischer Award, named to honour a master of this medium, for his 1995 statement of concern at the Keating government's problem with illegal migration from South China:

"we have a situation where the signal rippling through the bamboo grapevine is that Australia is a green light."

Do you have more contributions to add to those below ?

Join the Alliance ! Send them to Geoff with details of your source and date at:

email: geoffdb@shoalhaven.net.au

or snail-mail to: P O Box 745, Nowra NSW 2541

[* GAMMA: Great Australian Mixed Metaphor Alliance ]

21 December 2008

2008: Stephen Long, on ABC Radio The World Today, "The US also has a massive unfunded pension liability which is another gorilla in the room that's going to come home to roost in the next 10 years" (- attrib. The Diary column by Simon Canning, in The Australian) [ Winner: Tim Fischer Award ]

2008: Greg Hunt of the Federal opposition accuses the Government of taking a soft line on Japanese whaling: "[they have] given Japan a green light and waved the white flag." (Radio National)
2008: After Tony Stewart's sacking as a NSW minister, veteran Labor MP Richard Amery defends him, demanding an explanation from state premier Rees, "If they're letting that go through to the keeper then they've raised the bar too high." (Radio National)

2008: Opposition foreigh affairs spokesman Andrew Robb speaks (on ABC Radio National ) of how [the Government] "desperately needs to be pushed to the wall and taken to account."

2008: Senator Barnaby Joyce warns the WA Liberal Party against the mooted idea of a state coalition with the ALP, "there'll be ramifications and they're not reading their tealeaves if they make that choice."
2008: Rosemary Neill (Weekend Australian, Review) reflects over post-feminism attitudes "... it's safe to say that the women's urinal was a cause that lacked mainstream appeal."

2008: ALP minister Bill Shorten explains (on ABC TV Lateline) their government's lack ot tangible results to-date, "When you've got a new government you don't start from a flying start, it's not like an old-fashioned foot race where you go up [to] the start and you're running.The Liberal policy pantry that they left us in the kitchen of Australian politics was bare." (also reported in The Australian)
2008: John Cherry (CEO of Queensland Farmers Federation) speaks (on ABC Radio National AM) of his members' need to diversify where they farm, "They don't want to put all their eggs in one valley ..."

2008: Discussing moves to revise the Australian Constitution (on ABC Radio National ) one AJ Brown suggests that "It's time for stakeholders to put meat on the bones" of their proposals.
2007: Pamela Williams (Australian Financial Review) writes her forensic analysis of the Federal Coalition government's rejection by voters: "Howard's iron rule in the end became a rod for the party's back."

2007: National Party leader (and deputy PM) Mark Vaile voices concern over further interest-rate increases, "Will it be the straw that breaks the camel's back and push a lot of those farming families over the edge ?"

2007: Michael Kroger denies on ABC TV Lateline that PM John Howard is losing key supporters: "Thousands of people are still on the ship, and don't want to jump off the bandwagon."
2007: Queensland senator Barnaby Joyce attacks that state's premier via a media release: "The chickens are finally coming home to roost for a premier who's gone to sleep at the infrastructure wheel." [attrib: AFR Rear Window column] [ Winner: Tim Fischer Award ]

2007: Geraldine Doogue (on ABC Radio National, Saturday Extra) asks a wine producer about that industry's production glut: "Did you see the writing on the wall, or did the penny drop later ?"

2007: One commentator (on ABC Radio National AM) attacks government inaction on threatened bleaching of the Great Barrier Reef : "... the government's turned a cold shoulder and a blind eye to this."
2006: Queensland premier Peter Beattie (on Radio National) isn't yet ready to try recycling for his state's water shortages : "[but] we're going down the road with that up our sleeve."

2006: Liberal Party president Brian Loughnane (on the Sunday TV program) regrets another coalition failure to dislodge the ALP Queensland state government: "we should have knuckled down [but] the die was cast."

2006: Coalition minister Andrew Robb debates wheat board scandals with ALP opponent Lindsay Tanner on ABC Lateline "the ALP is going to have egg all over its face [and] the proof will be in the eating."
2006: AFR columnist (and former Coalition MP) Michael Baume assails Opposition front-bencher Kevin Rudd, for persisting on the Australian Wheat Board issue, claiming "... he has pushed the Opposition out on a limb. That's an uncomfortable location from which to eat humble pie."

2006: Aspiring state politician (and comedian) Wendy Harmer muses on her election prospects to the Australian Financial Review: "If there's a Liberal landslide I could be sitting here as a shag on a rock, in a sea of political allegiances, staring at the wall" [ Winner: Tim Fischer Award ]

2006: South Australian premier Mike Rann reflects on their state election victory: "We've got to take [political attacks] on the chin and have broad shoulders."

2006: One I.T. exporter Brian Webb finds the promised benefits from the USA Free Trade agreement lacking so far (Aust Financial Review) : "the FTA gives Australian firms a tick in one box but selling in the USA is still no cake walk."
2005: Coalition Senator Ron Boswell (ABC Lateline) taunts ALP Opposition critics of upgraded terrorist legislation : "They've got egg all over their face - from head to toe !"

2005: Pamela Williams writes (Aust Financial Review) on the hostile takeover bid by Toll Holdings for Patrick: "How long it might be before Corrigan [Patrick] breaks bread with Little and Rowsthorn [Toll] only time will tell. They may find that they have bitten off more than they can chew."

2005: Phil Burgess of Telstra's new "Team Trujillo" management cadre speaks of their early government lobbying attempts: "[we] tried to have discussions under the radar but were told the train had left the station." (Aust Financial Review) [ Winner: Tim Fischer Award ]
2005: Winemaker Brian Rowley worries on ABC Radio National about wine and grape surpluses being inflated by people who "...come in bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and see things through rose-coloured glasses."

2005: Gary Pemberton, Chairman of Racing NSW, emails his chief executive: "... we are up to our arse in alligators and it is all hands to the pump," - requoted by Justice Patricia Bergin in her decision against that company on racing broadcast rights.

2005: Sister Susan Conelly, supporter of East Timorese refugees unable to get Australian residence, suspects Immigration department motives: "... there's something fishy here and I smell a rat."

2005: Catherine Lumby puts a feminist view to ABC Radio National about the new "She-Pee" device designed to enable women to use urinals, "there's a flow-on effect with our bodies."
2004: ALP opposition front-bencher Stephen Smith complains after their electoral defeat at the Government "arrogantly rubbing Labor's nose in it ... but we're going to take it on the chin." (ABC Radio National)

2004: Queensland MP Bob Katter reminiscing on ABC TV Rewind program about the Bjelke-Petersen movement's abortive push for Canberra: "It was a fall off our horse on the Road to Damascus."

2004: Journalist Ivor Ries speaks on ABC Radio National AM about : " investors wishing to have their cake on both sides of the fence." [ Winner: Tim Fischer Award ]
2004: James Murray snipes in The Australian at outgoing Anglican archbishop Peter Carnley: " the General Synod ... will be the swan song of a lame duck primate."

2004: Owen Harries (quoted by Michael Fullilove, Lowy Institute) : "Even while seated on a bandwagon, one can urge the need for careful steering and a judicious use of brakes."

2004: On the ABC Radio National Awaye program, indigenous cultural campaigner Jacqui Katona, voices concern that : "We are enclaved into the basement level of the structure ..."
2004: John Howard taunts the ALP Opposition to endorse the US-Australia Free Trade Agreement : "... if [US presidential candidate] Senator Kerry can come aboard then perhaps the ALP now can get off the fence ?"

2004: Maxine McKew moderates an ABC panel discussing the value & cost of foreign correspondents, wondering : "is the bottom-line crunch ... [that] there's too little jam to spread ?"

2004: ALP front-bencher Julia Gillard criticizes Government announcements (ABC TV Lateline), "these Thought Bubbles are then being ruled out in the same breath."
2003: Paul Keating justifies to Radio National his government's economic liberalisation, "The proof of the pudding was in the eating ... even though you had to chew a few sixpences on the way."

2003: Journalist Laura Tingle reports (in the AFR) how treasurer Peter Costello "before the sale of the remainder of Telstra was put on the back burner, threw down the gauntlet to the market." [ Winner: Tim Fischer Award ]
2002: Unnamed Federal government senior official (reported by AFR's Geoffrey Barker) expresses concern on deterioration in Australian-Indonesian relations: " Everybody is biting their bottom lip and turning the other cheek so that this stuff doesn't get too much oxygen." [ Winner: Tim Fischer Award ]

2002: Deputy PM John Anderson is wary about the stem-cell research issue as : "... an ethical slippery slope on which we need to establish a baseline."

2002: ABC National rural reporter Gerard Callinan describes an artificial insemination project to augment rabbit numbers (yes, really !) , noting that: "... [rabbits] seldom need a hand in that neck of the woods."
2001: ALP leader Kim Beazley concedes defeat on Federal election night, describing how : "We've looked through the fog of war to the kitchen table of the average Australian family."

2001: Kim Beazley speaks on the Channel 9 Today show of the Coalition "dancing on the spit they had created." (Attrib SMH 'Column 8')

2001: An ABC Radio National newsreader speaks of an equivocal ALP response to the MV Tampa refugee incident: "After backing the Government to the hilt, the Opposition is drawing a line in the sand."
2001: ABC Radio National newsreader highlights the tactics of the AMWU union in " nipping at the Achilles heel of the Coalition government."

2001: Soccer commentator describes how one side missed a goal chance in game between Wollongong & South Melbourne, as: "When you've got them by the scruff of the neck you must put a nail in the coffin while they're still on their knees." (reported via 'Column 8' in Sydney Morning Herald) [ Winner: Tim Fischer Award ]
2001: Wayne Swan of the ALP alleges on the Channel Nine Sunday program that "[the Democrats] aren't out of the woods yet. It's the same teapot with a different cosy."

2001: Dr John Buchanan complains, to Julie McCrossin on ABC Radio National 's Life Matters program at how " the Government dragged their feet every inch of the way."
2001: ABC Radio National's Scott Wales asks the South Australian Treasurer about concerns for their local vehicle industry, wondering whether Mitsubishi Australia " is being scapegoated or are they the meat in the sandwich ?"

2001: Imre Salusinszky in discussion on ABC Radio National with Julie McCrossin, of the issue of whale sanctuaries, accuses the environmental movement of: "raising false alarms and apocalyptic red herrings ."
[ Honorary TFA for 2000 to the Australian Financial Review for its reporting, or its writers' creation, of a sustained flow of examples ]

2000: AFR journalist Tony Walker describes how ALP chieftain John Della Bosca :"... for what is certain to be rambunctious debate about hardy annuals like branch stacking, his hands will have been in many pies."

2000: Professor Sue Serjeantson (for the Federation of Scientific and Technological Societies) laments Australia's chronic loss of research scientists, to the AFR:

"The brain drain is an indication that research science is tottering on a see-saw ... scientists are voting with their feet to escape to a better world" ... and later on the same issue to Radio National: "This trickle became a critical mass - and then turned into an exodus."

[ Winner: Tim Fischer Award ]
2000: Gary Weiss (reported by the AFR) gives evidence in the Queensland Supreme Court on tactics which aimed:"... to seek the warm embrace of a very large energy utility ... ensuring that Allgas was essentially in a safe harbour when the force of deregulation hit."

2000: Robert Harley writes in the AFR how Lend Lease had:"... copped the flak ... over Fox Studios. With Aurora Place it has ... extended the envelope but this time brought it home."
1999: fund manager Kerr Nielson worries at the bull US stockmarket,"The real danger is that retirement money ... gets confounded by this apparent win-win situation and is beached high and dry when the music stops."

1999:Catherine Lumby speaks on Radio 2SM of: "the need to puncture some sacred cows."

(attrib Frank Devine's That's Language column)
1999: John Howard comments on the Channel 9 Sunday program about East Timor: "It will take time for the grass to grow over the wounds ..."

1999: Indian cricket captain Kapil Dev hopes on ABC Radio National for a new way forward for their team: "We're going to turn over a new leaf and start a new chapter"
1999: Gareth Evans reflects on Radio National on his parliamentary retirement, over East Timor and the dilemmas of Indonesian Foreign Minister Alatas:

"He became the meat in the sandwich - now we've seen the fruits of that ..."
1999: Radio National talk-back caller Sigurd on John Howard's attempt to draft a preamble:

"He's throwing a red herring into the pool to take the heat off [ other issues ]"
1999: Boral CEO Tony Berg speaks obliquely on the Business Sunday program of their planned 'de-merger' (sic) : "The bones are in place around which we are going to build"
1999: Fran Kelly of the ABC and Francis Sullivan of Catholic Healthcare in dialogue:

FK: "Is the government offering a carrot or stick ?"

FS: "The proof of that will be in the eating."

[ No major TFA selected for 1999 - but honorable mention to Fran Kelly for her efforts this year ]
1999: Anne Davies & Helen Trinca wonder: "if the Howard government had steel in its belly."
1998: Fran Kelly of ABC Radio National comments on party politics that:

"the Democrats are trying to deal themselves into this game at the start of the dance."
1998: BHP steel executive George Edgar muses on replicating overseas their latest steel mini-mill design:

"... there may be other areas ... where the gut feel says it might make sense ... putting the meat on the bones of that gut feel."
1998: Prime Minister Howard previews his new budget,"[the budget] will be firm , but when you've done the hard yards and you've cut the fat out of the system it does [let you] deliver the odd social bonus here and there."

[ Winner: Tim Fischer Award ]
1998: Visiting Indian lawyer Bedi speaks on Radio National of her experience in both prosecution and defence: "But then I have lived on both sides of that coin."
1998: ABC Producer David Salter muses on the problems of his Media Watch program with the departure of its presenter, Stuart Littlemore:

"It was unclear who had the ball to take it by the throat and solve it."
1998: British animal activist July Gellatly attacks the kangaroo meat industry on Radio National:

"It's beef and cattle that damage the land ... [kangaroos] are being made the scapegoat."
1997: Peter Manning of the ABC expresses anxiety at the Mansfield report on the national broadcaster, "It is when Mansfield steps out in uncharted waters after the quickest of learning curves that he fumbles the ball."

[ Winner: Tim Fischer Award ]
1997: Simon Crean gloats at Coalition ministerial casualties from the travel rorts affair:

"... we're not preying over dead carcases - the dogs are barking but the caravan's moved on."
1997: Tim Fischer maintains the standard, in praising the courage of an Israeli politician:

"He is going a long way on a bed of coals [and ] is now on a razor's edge."
1997: Catherine Lumby reflects after a film festival on feminism versus pornography,

"Feminists in the 1980s have got into bed with those people and it's a two-way street."
1996: film director Scott Hicks ("Shine") on his differences with David Helfgott's sister,

"I think she is pushing a very dangerous reactive button here which is playing the xenophobic card."

[Winner: Tim Fischer Award]